What if?
by Most Loyal Bellaminion
Summary: A sort of drabble of Amy's thoughts. Takes place directly after The Wedding of River Song. If you haven't seen that yet, then first of all Tsk Tsk, and second of all: Mild spoilers. Sorry Sweetie!


Amy sat alone at the little table in the darkened yard, slowly emptying wine glass in hand. Her daughter had left excitedly not but half an hour ago. Her son in law was not dead, and... Oh. She was a mother in law now. Funny, she was at the wedding; she gave her consent. It just hadn't really registered at the time. Perhaps because her daughter was so much older than her (or at least it seemed), or because the groom and bride were both her best friends. In a way. It was all very confusing. Even after all her time traveling with the Doctor, that particular aspect of age and the people she knew, or met, or thought she knew. It never quite sat right in her mind, nothing ever clicked.  
"The Doctor and Amy Pond... and the days that never came. "  
Those were the words the Doctor had whispered to her, when she was 7. This was another thing she didn't understand. That version of reality had never happened, but everything he said while she was sleeping was still as clear as an undisturbed pond. She would never forget.  
She often wondered what it would be like if those days were different, and if some hadn't happened. What if? That was the question she constantly asked herself, what if. It kept her up at night.  
What if there hadn't been a crack in her wall?  
What if the Doctor had actually come back the first time?  
What if Rory hadn't been killed, erased, and plastic?  
The Doctor had taught her about parallel universes. What if, in every universe out there, a different Amelia Jessica Pond was living out each and every one of those 'what ifs'?  
What if Madame Kovarian and the Silence hadn't taken her?  
Why couldn't her daughter have just been born in a normal way?

Amy jerked. She almost fell off of her chair.  
A tear. A lone water droplet had found its way down off of her cheek, and dropped onto her hand. A tear had caused her to jolt. She was shaking slightly.

She had to stop this. No matter how much she went back in time, she couldn't change any of this. Not in any safe manner that wouldn't create more problems.  
Why did she torture herself like this? She loved her current reality, hectic and scattered and chaotic as it was.  
A new wave of questions flooded into her mind.  
What kind of person would she be without all of these mad, impossible things shaping her life?  
She wouldn't have had Mels as her best friend. And no Mels meant no Rory.  
Oh God, she thought. Amy realized that she would never have realized how much he had loved her.  
How would her life had gone if she wasn't the person she was now? She could barely think of an alternative now. Any other existence would be dull by comparison, too boring for the feisty Scot with a taste for adventure.  
She wouldn't have a husband. She wouldn't have a daughter.  
Who would she be?  
Certainly not a character in a fairytale. No, that's what this Amy was. The one who fought monsters and aliens; who traveled the universe with her loving husband, mysterious daughter, and eccentric guardian angel.

Melody. River. Whatever name she went by, Amy was more than proud to be her mother. Even if their relationship wasn't exactly what it said on the tin, it was special nonetheless. That's what held the Williams-Pond-Gallifreyan family together. The insanity that she spent wakeless nights pondering, that was the glue.

What if.  
There it was again, that question. But this time she wasn't asking herself. She was picturing the Doctor, as he was proposing some crazy plan for a trip to her.  
What if, it was a question that held them together. Not one to tear them apart.

The wine glass was now empty, and the fiery head of hair no longer shook atop its pale body. She was calm now; no longer shaking, the tears all gone.

What if this family was something so special there was nothing else like it, in the present past or future?  
Just what if?  
If this were true, as Amy expected it was, then she wouldn't trade it for anything.  
Nothing in the universe could ruin what they have, not aliens or cracks, or even crazy women with eyepatches.  
Nothing.


End file.
